When it comes to food and nutrition, your relationship with food and eating is more important overall than the food itself. Or put in other words, “how” you eat is more important than “what” you eat.
What is a healthy relationship with food?
A healthy relationship with food means being able to eat a nutritious, balanced diet, without feeling restricted, deprived, out of control, or over-indulging (the majority of the time). When it comes to eating, of course, it’s normal to feel this way occasionally! But a healthy lifestyle includes being able to consume food in all settings of life without negativity surrounding eating.
How do you develop a healthy relationship with food?
Creating a healthy relationship with food requires a shift in mindset. In today’s world, we’re surrounded by various messages about food and nutrition, shaping our view (whether positive or negative). Many of these messages become conflicting, leading to increasing confusion. The way that we were raised also plays a major role in the way we eat and view food, as this is how we were originally taught. Therefore, there are many subconscious messages which we tell ourselves that impact our eating habits and frame of mind.
The first step in developing a healthier relationship with food is to become aware of your thoughts. Without mental awareness, you cannot make changes to your mindset. This can be practiced through various mindfulness techniques such as journaling, meditation, and other exercises.
Mindset shifts
1. Adopt the belief that there are no “good” or “bad” foods.
Food is just food! It's not inherently “good” or “bad”. With that being said there are certain levels of nutrient density in foods. For example, a cup of broccoli contains more nutrients (greater nutrient density) than a cup of Oreos. This is not to say that Oreos are bad and broccoli is good, but rather that they simply contain different amounts of nutrients. Foods containing lower nutrient density can definitely still be a part of a balanced diet as long as there’s room for more nutrient-dense foods as well.
2. Focus on what TO eat, not what not to eat.
With today’s “diet culture” promoting toxic messages such as things like “10 foods you should never eat to _____”, it's no wonder we find ourselves asking, "what foods should I avoid?". The problem with this approach is that, when told we “can't” have something, our amazing human minds end up wanting it even more! Not to mention, eating is a necessary part of survival- if we’re only thinking about what foods not to eat, we often end up undereating which can backfire (leading to overeating). So try shifting your mindset to a more inclusive approach, by starting to ask yourself, “what foods do I want to INCLUDE in my diet?”.
*Bonus tip* once you start incorporating more of these foods, you’ll naturally eat less of the foods you tried avoiding in the first place!
3. Make “how you feel” more important than “how you look”.
I know that this can be a challenging one, as we live in a society that places a high value on aesthetics. But honestly (as cheesy as it may sound), it’s what's on the inside that counts. And not just when it comes to character, but wellbeing too- body size, does not correlate with level of health. The reality is that when we place all our value on looking a certain way, we become externally focused and set ourselves up to never be satisfied. By shifting to a more internally focused mindset, we may not only improve our relationship with food but our relationship with ourselves overall. Some questions to start asking yourself are “how does this food/ meal make me feel?”, “since changing this part of my diet, has my level of energy/ focus increased?”, or “do I notice any improvements to my digestion lately?”.
4. Focus on nourishment over calories.
It really is awe-inspiring how food nourishes our bodies. When given enough of the right nutrients, our bodies can be amazing machines and serve us well. Viewing food through a lens of “nourishment” rather than just calories to burn off, will shine a new, positive light on the foods you choose to eat. Sure, some foods will be primarily for pleasure, but having some foods serve as mental or emotional nourishment is completely normal and healthy.
5. Ignore the scale.
The scale tells us the amount of force required to oppose your body’s acceleration due to gravity. The scale does not tell us our worth, our importance, or our level of health. In fact, rigidly monitoring weight can have a negative impact on mental health. Not to mention, the number can be deceiving, fluctuating daily and even hourly based on a number of physical factors. More important measures of progress include sustained energy levels, enhanced mental health, better sleep, and possibly improved lab values.
Side note: Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as an “ideal body weight” that can be calculated for a person based solely on height, weight, and gender. There is however a “set point” where your body functions at its best and is unique to you.
Next steps
If you would like to work on your mindset around food, eating, and nutrition, consider working with me 1:1. For more information, contact me at kristen@kristenkuminskird.com.
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