When you think about Thanksgiving, does this thought ever pop up?
“Oh no! How am I going to control myself around all the food?”
If you answered “yes”, you are not alone.
The answer does not lie in “controlling yourself”. After spending years working on my own relationship with food, I believe that the way through involves becoming mindful of your thoughts before, during, and after the holiday.
What's wrong with this mentality?
This kind of thinking implies that we need to restrict ourselves in some capacity. It says I can't be trusted around this food.
This restriction mentality and lack of self-trust are what drive us to make poor eating decisions. When we feel restricted, our brain backfires on us and naturally wants more of what we’ve felt forbidden to eat. And when we believe that we don't trust ourselves, we shut down the intuitive voice that guides us to make better choices.
Here are some things that have worked for me- and I hope that some (or even just one, resonate for you as well).
Prior to eating:
Check-in with your mindset:
Are your primary thoughts pertaining to worry or fear; or excitement, joy, and gratitude? Which thoughts would you rather be experiencing on this day? If you chose the latter (I’m assuming most will), how can you begin to shift more in that direction?
What’s your “why”?:
What’s the purpose of celebrating Thanksgiving anyways? For most, Thanksgiving is celebrated to give thanks for family, friends, and good food. Things can really be brought into perspective when we focus on our intentions for certain situations. In what ways can we make this day more focused on our why?
Zoom out to view the big picture:
In the grand scheme of 365 days this year, 1 day is not the end of everything. Does what you eat on this single day really matter in comparison to the rest of your days on this planet?
During The Meal:
Don't treat this like the last supper:
Although this is just one day in a series of many, for most people this is not the last chance ever to eat these foods. If you’re someone who has been struggling with your relationship with food, there’s a likely chance that you live in a society where these foods are readily available throughout the year. Is there a dish that you really enjoy that you’d like to create again before next Thanksgiving? Go for it! Knowing it will be there again when you want it will reduce the desire to over-indulge.
Know that you don’t have to finish everything on your plate:
No, it won't be rude if you don't finish every last bite of Aunt Wanda’s green bean casserole. Listening to your body means stopping once something doesn't feel satisfying any longer. This doesn't mean you have to waste enormous amounts of food either. Consider making round one sort of a “taste test”, taking a little bit of everything you’d like to try. Then, after you’ve had a chance to try everything and evaluate your hunger/ fullness, go up for seconds, only choosing the foods that you know you’ll enjoy.
After Eating:
Honor leftovers:
Rather than trying to keep food out of the house after Thanksgiving, be open to taking home leftovers of the foods you enjoyed (if there are any!). This will reinforce the notion to yourself that you don't have to overload on any specific item on Thanksgiving, as it will still be there tomorrow.
The diet does not start tomorrow (or ever!):
Let’s face it, thinking “my diet starts tomorrow” is a never-ending cycle. It’s completely normal to consume more on this day than on an “average day”. Instead of trying to restrict in the days following, just get back to a baseline. This will help to prevent the ups and downs of the dieting cycle, and create a more balanced lifestyle. Some days are going to look different than others, but what matters is that overall you're putting nourishment first, listening to your body, and making mindful choices.
Whatever happens, please do not feel guilty about what you ate, FOOD DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR WORTH! Food is delicious, spending time with friends and family is priceless, and both are meant to enjoy.
A large part of building a healthier relationship with food involves building self-trust. This process is gradual, requiring time, effort, and consistency (and is not linear). But no matter where you are currently, or what your background is, it is possible to learn to trust yourself (around food and other areas of life).
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